Ruraidh (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} harmonyrocket) wrote,@ 2008-04-22 20:12:00 |
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The encyclopedia is saved...
Plenty to report and plenty of work to do in this final week of university ever (where have we heard that before?). Much better to spend the time writing fake encyclopedia entries, wouldn't you say? Uncyclopedia. There's an idea. Not my work, that, but perhaps I'll fix what's not broken in weeks to come. Or at least correct the grammar.
Also, micronations are great. Over and out.
***
Ruraidh occurred late in 1983.
Early career:
Raised in the hills by a unit of loved eccentrics, nothing happened for a long time, and when they did they were forgotten on account of an archive blaze which claimed the lives of three. Also, he was learning to speak. Ruraidh gained early employment as a designer of flags, nominated for a coveted Tricolore award in 1989 and walking away with the outright prize in 1992.
He privately attributed his success to the fall of communism and proliferation of breakaway former Soviet republics, which made a sellers' market of the international flag design trade.
Turning his back on Vexillology, Ruraidh spent the years 1993-1996 mining granite in the hills of west Wicklow, witnessing at first hand the Great Milk Truck Catastrophe of 1994 which attracted cats of the county in an influx of gold rush proportions.
Other achievements of this period include the world's first scientific study of the complex relationship between Mary Quant and the then-unknown Osama Bin Laden; devising a new method of organising bees without risk, and scoring a goal and a point against the hated Valleymount in the car park as the victorious GAA team of 1995 romped their way towards fame on the big boys' pitch.
Tallaght years: 1996-2002
Moving his academic studies to the suburban Dublin concentration camp of Tallaght (and then to the yuppie ghetto of Templeogue) reputedly caused a decline in his productivity and mental health.
A furtive attempt to redesign the question mark proved a misjudgement when the local bishop denounced him from the pulpit. Imprisoned on the 65 bus, Ruraidh set about cracking the 'Leaving Certificate' dilemma first described by Sophocles, with generally positive results. Accepted to study history at Trinity College, Ruraidh chose to mark the occasion by antagonising a parking meter - which displayed a surprising level of comprehension for an inanimate object by publishing a stinging denunciation in the letters page of The Irish Times.
According to newspaper records and enemy intercepts, Ruraidh's first attempt to play popular music came in 1999 with the acquisition of a bass guitar, progressing to rhythm guitar in unguarded moments. Officially recognised by UNESCO as the world's worst musician six years later, Ruraidh once spent an epic unbroken 61-hour stretch attempting to master the A minor chord, a ritual he repeats on every musical occasion to this date and the subject of many Youtube parodies.
City life and yet more controversy: 2002-present
Ruraidh's move to the bright lights of Dublin City, in June of 2002, was marred by his savage beating at the hands of online encyclopedia vigilantes. Making a full recovery with the help of Leo Burdock's fish and chips and a piece of software which capitalised on his earlier research by sending a swarm of hyperintelligent bees after his assailants, he then turned his mind towards revolution.
Ruraidh was responsible for the creation of the Parliament Street Militia, provisional government of the Parliament Street Commune - a micronation, the name of which changes regularly. He also badly edits the micronation's only newspaper, the Parliament Street Chronicle, and presents the Vilarica Sauvignon Blanc Award For Ignorance In The Face Of Stupidity In The Face Of Idiocy (often referred to as the World Championship of Wicklow) at an annual gala.
He continues to live in town with two reprobates and a big map like what they have in that film 'Battle of Britain' except there's Rolos to represent enemy fighters instead of swastikas and the whole sorry affair is prone to rearrangement by a volatile cat. They get their sandbags from the Oriental Emporium up the road.
His first ever media interview, on 21 April 2008, ended without response when the interviewer began by asking "have you got nothing better to do with your time?" and the aggrieved subject walked out, tripping over the tape recorder cable on his way out the door.
Plenty to report and plenty of work to do in this final week of university ever (where have we heard that before?). Much better to spend the time writing fake encyclopedia entries, wouldn't you say? Uncyclopedia. There's an idea. Not my work, that, but perhaps I'll fix what's not broken in weeks to come. Or at least correct the grammar.
Also, micronations are great. Over and out.
***
Ruraidh occurred late in 1983.
Early career:
Raised in the hills by a unit of loved eccentrics, nothing happened for a long time, and when they did they were forgotten on account of an archive blaze which claimed the lives of three. Also, he was learning to speak. Ruraidh gained early employment as a designer of flags, nominated for a coveted Tricolore award in 1989 and walking away with the outright prize in 1992.
He privately attributed his success to the fall of communism and proliferation of breakaway former Soviet republics, which made a sellers' market of the international flag design trade.
Turning his back on Vexillology, Ruraidh spent the years 1993-1996 mining granite in the hills of west Wicklow, witnessing at first hand the Great Milk Truck Catastrophe of 1994 which attracted cats of the county in an influx of gold rush proportions.
Other achievements of this period include the world's first scientific study of the complex relationship between Mary Quant and the then-unknown Osama Bin Laden; devising a new method of organising bees without risk, and scoring a goal and a point against the hated Valleymount in the car park as the victorious GAA team of 1995 romped their way towards fame on the big boys' pitch.
Tallaght years: 1996-2002
Moving his academic studies to the suburban Dublin concentration camp of Tallaght (and then to the yuppie ghetto of Templeogue) reputedly caused a decline in his productivity and mental health.
A furtive attempt to redesign the question mark proved a misjudgement when the local bishop denounced him from the pulpit. Imprisoned on the 65 bus, Ruraidh set about cracking the 'Leaving Certificate' dilemma first described by Sophocles, with generally positive results. Accepted to study history at Trinity College, Ruraidh chose to mark the occasion by antagonising a parking meter - which displayed a surprising level of comprehension for an inanimate object by publishing a stinging denunciation in the letters page of The Irish Times.
According to newspaper records and enemy intercepts, Ruraidh's first attempt to play popular music came in 1999 with the acquisition of a bass guitar, progressing to rhythm guitar in unguarded moments. Officially recognised by UNESCO as the world's worst musician six years later, Ruraidh once spent an epic unbroken 61-hour stretch attempting to master the A minor chord, a ritual he repeats on every musical occasion to this date and the subject of many Youtube parodies.
City life and yet more controversy: 2002-present
Ruraidh's move to the bright lights of Dublin City, in June of 2002, was marred by his savage beating at the hands of online encyclopedia vigilantes. Making a full recovery with the help of Leo Burdock's fish and chips and a piece of software which capitalised on his earlier research by sending a swarm of hyperintelligent bees after his assailants, he then turned his mind towards revolution.
Ruraidh was responsible for the creation of the Parliament Street Militia, provisional government of the Parliament Street Commune - a micronation, the name of which changes regularly. He also badly edits the micronation's only newspaper, the Parliament Street Chronicle, and presents the Vilarica Sauvignon Blanc Award For Ignorance In The Face Of Stupidity In The Face Of Idiocy (often referred to as the World Championship of Wicklow) at an annual gala.
He continues to live in town with two reprobates and a big map like what they have in that film 'Battle of Britain' except there's Rolos to represent enemy fighters instead of swastikas and the whole sorry affair is prone to rearrangement by a volatile cat. They get their sandbags from the Oriental Emporium up the road.
His first ever media interview, on 21 April 2008, ended without response when the interviewer began by asking "have you got nothing better to do with your time?" and the aggrieved subject walked out, tripping over the tape recorder cable on his way out the door.
