“FIVE MORE YEARS! FIVE MORE YEARS!” -Cyprian Brady's campaign team

“I will be in the bar/

With my head on the bar” -Morrissey

Cons, in brief: the electoral death of Joe Higgins, Catherine Murphy, Eric Byrne, Richard Boyd Barrett, Dan Boyle, Cathy Daly; the loss of one Labour seat and the failure to make any inroads whatsoever; the failure of the Greens to make hay while the Climate Change sun shines; 1920s style electoral status quo in Wicklow; the sad and perhaps unlikely recognition that this country is far more conservative than I am; the thought that an immense number of young people must have voted to keep things the way they are; the following quivering realisation: why won't the world conform to the high expectations which our education has led us to believe in?

Pros, in brief: the groundshaking curtailment of Michael McDowell's career of fear before my very eyes in the RDS count centre on Friday; celebrations thereof; the loss of the Progressive Democrats' Leader, Deputy Leader, Party President, Justice minister, junior minister, six members of parliament - and a number of Senators to follow – in one fell swoop; the free bar, the job-well-done in Ahern's backyard; the empowering achievement of Total Coverage, the gliding home at 6am in full knowledge that we may have lost the war to an embarrassing extent but what a way to win the fucking battle.

The possession of an airplane ticket out of this rotten mess, which I use in a number of hours' time.

“So tonight, to you, the great silent majority of my fellow Americans, I ask for your support...” -Richard Nixon